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Writer's pictureTamir Berkman

#44 Harris vs Trump – How to minimise conflict with your ex


Separation is a time filled with conflict, tension, and high emotions. It’s not unlike the political battleground we’re seeing right now in the United States, where Harris vs Trump is the latest front-page conflict that has everyone talking. The election is intense, polarizing, and, for many, deeply personal—much like the experience of separating from a partner. But what if we could learn something from the way people navigate political differences?

This post will explore how the election mirrors the challenges of separation and what strategies you can use to manage and move past conflict in your own life.


The Harris vs Trump election is more than just a political contest; it’s a battle of ideologies, emotions, and deeply held beliefs. People on both sides feel strongly about their views and often engage in heated debates that can spiral into full-blown arguments. This scenario is a lot like separation, where two people with different perspectives are suddenly thrown into a conflict that they didn’t fully anticipate. And just like in politics, the goal isn’t to keep fighting—it’s to find a way to manage and eventually move past the conflict.


When you’re in the midst of separation, it’s easy to get caught up in the drama. The same goes for political debates, where emotions run high and rational thinking often takes a backseat. What we want to do in both scenarios is minimize the conflict, manage it constructively, and find a way to move forward. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you can choose to handle disagreements in a way that keeps the peace.


In the U.S., many households are experiencing their own election conflicts. Spouses, partners, and even kids may have differing political views, leading to tension at the dinner table. The question is, how do families handle these differences without letting things get out of hand? The key is respectful dialogue, setting boundaries, and understanding that it’s okay to disagree. The same principles apply when you’re co-parenting with an ex who doesn’t see eye to eye with you.


Separation often comes with disagreements—whether they’re about finances, parenting, or even day-to-day decisions. Managing these differing views with your ex can be just as tough as navigating a political argument. But it’s possible to handle these conversations in a way that’s constructive rather than destructive. Think of it like a skill: the more you practice, the better you’ll get at managing tough conversations without letting them spiral into conflict.


If you can learn how to handle election talk with friends and family, you’re well on your way to mastering tough conversations with your ex or co-parent. It’s all about listening, staying calm, and finding common ground—even when you don’t agree. These are essential skills that will serve you well in any conflict, whether it’s about politics or parenting.


This is where former FBI negotiator Chris Voss comes in. He developed an approach called Tactical Empathy, which is all about deeply understanding the other person’s perspective. It’s not about agreeing with them, but rather showing them that their feelings and opinions are acknowledged. This approach can de-escalate conflict and lead to more productive conversations.


Here are three tools from Voss’s playbook that you can use to manage difficult conversations:

  • Active Listening: This involves being fully present in the conversation, listening without interrupting, and focusing entirely on what the other person is saying. It’s a powerful way to show respect and keep things calm.

  • Mirroring: This technique involves repeating the last few words of what the other person said. It signals that you’re engaged and encourages them to elaborate, which can lead to a deeper understanding of their perspective.

  • Labeling: This means identifying the emotions behind the other person’s words. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated” or “It seems like this is important to you” can help defuse tension and make the other person feel heard.


Start by using these techniques in everyday conversations about the election. When you’re talking with someone who has a different political view, focus on listening actively, mirroring their points, and labeling their emotions. You might be surprised at how much calmer and more respectful the conversation becomes.


Once you’ve practiced these skills with friends and family, try using them with your ex or co-parent. Whether it’s a discussion about parenting schedules, finances, or any other tough topic, these tools can help you navigate the conversation with empathy and control.


These tools and strategies can make a big difference in how you handle conflict, whether it’s about politics or personal matters. I’d love to hear how it worked for you. Did you find these techniques helpful? Were you able to keep the peace? Let me know in the comments below.

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