My separation was full of fear: The fear of losing my family, my best friend, my kid, my house, my identity and my dream life. Sounds familiar? Here's how you can deal with fear:
Step #1 Acknowledge your fear
As the quote from Dune says: Fear is the mind-killer, so avoid acting from a place of fear. Acknowledge your fear by writing it down or saying it out loud to a safe person. Say: “I have a fear, my fear is X”. Remember, simply talking about the fear will make it seem more manageable and less frightening.
Step #2 Name and face your fear
Look at your fear. Is your fear imagined? In other words: Are you scared because of what you imagine could happen in the future? Is it fear of failure or shame? Make it specific. What's behind this fear? What drives this fear? What other feelings/thoughts/ behaviours or beliefs are associated with it?
Step #3 Allow the fear and bless yourself
It's natural to feel fear. You are not to blame or feel guilty for your fear. What do you need to help you to let go of this fear? (This is not a physical object. It might be courage, forgiveness, or compassion for yourself) Now say this: "I bless myself with X” (Whatever you need to get over the fear). Repeat this mantra whenever you feel fear.
If this technique didn’t help, go and see a professional. Counsellors, psychologists, and coaches are trained to deal with fear and can help you relieve it.
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