I was a 45-year-old virgin. Well, not technically, but mentally. After a ten-year relationship with almost no sex in the last two, I was really unfit. The dates themselves went ok. Some of them, fuelled by plenty of alcohol, even ended up on a couch or bed. But the ending was quick, awkward, and apologetic.
Yes, I needed practice, but practice alone, although helpful, didn't get me the results I was after. What changed the game was my growth mindset.
It started when I decided to treat dating as a growth experiment. I will pay close attention to my dating habits, check in with myself to feel if they're right or healthy and continue to change, pivot, and adjust.
What I found was profound: my dating life correlated with my mindset. When I was needy for love, looking for a quick sexual fix or low on self-esteem, my dating experiences left me hollow, weak and confused.
When I was coming from a place of abundance, honesty, self-respect and truth, my dating experiences were easy, nourishing and expanding. They were now a part of my overall quest to self-realisation and betterment.
Three things I’ve learned from treating dating as a growth experiment:
1. Speak my truth and be honest with myself and others.
2. Communicate my wants and needs.
3. Let go of outcomes and enjoy the present moment.
Being an aware, emotionally intelligent man is a rare quality that is in high demand by women. If you can be that man, you'll have amazing dates, sexual experiences, and relationships.
PS. If you'd like to talk about dating after separation, I'm happy to chat.