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Divorce and separation advice: What to do when the ex is seeing someone...

My ex just told me she's seeing someone. Even though it's been almost two years since our separation, it's still something I need to sit with. How do I do it? Read on...


STEP 1: Awareness: How do I feel about it? I'm checking in, scanning my body, and acknowledging some discomfort in my gut. Can I match it with an emotion? The emotion is fear. It is a yellow triangle of fear in my gut. I have fear. It is external to me. I see it, acknowledge it and am ok with feeling it without resistance.


STEP 2: Work: Where is that fear coming from? It's fear about my daughter spending time with another man. It's fear about my ex no longer needing me. Fear about meeting this man at some point and feel uncomfortable. It's a fear from the future. It's not real. It's a fear about a story I tell myself. Behind this fear is my fear of feeling insignificant, outdated, put to the side, no longer relevant, fear of abandonment, rejection, and replacement.


STEP 3: Allowance & blessing: I allow the fear. It's there to protect me. Thank you fear. I no longer need your protection. I bless myself. I bless myself with love, with groundedness, with reassurance, with value. with appreciation, with knowing I can't be replaced as I am loved. I am loved.


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