Going through a divorce or separation? Here's how to deal with sadness

My separation was full of sadness. It was living in my stomach, weighing me down and killing me softly. So, I decided to kill it first by rolling it up in a rug and burry it deep down so I won't feel it anymore.

But... emotions that are buried become zombies. They'll come back up, haunt you and eat you alive.

Here's how I learnt to deal with sadness instead:

Step #1 - To accept and welcome

I'm taking a big breath and welcoming my sadness. I slow down enough to appreciate it. I welcome it. I call it a name (mine is called Betty). What name do you call your sadness?

Step #2 - To sit with it

I imagine having tea with my sadness (Betty). What will she say? What will I answer? We cry together. We listen to some sad music, then cry some more. I remind myself that my sadness is a guest and will stay for as long as I want it to stay. I go to bed hoping it will be gone in the morning.

Step #3 - To farewell creatively

When I feel it's time to end sadness visit, I'm saying goodbye as I do to an old friend. I also let my sadness go creatively. I write about it in my journal, draw a picture of it or sing about it. Bye bye Betty.

PS. If you find it difficult to get off the emotional rollercoaster, let's work on it. Contact me for details.


In the photo: A picnic with Betty.

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