So I'm enjoying a beautiful weekend drive with my girlfriend on a long country road.
The phone rings and it's my co-parent (or ex, when I'm feeling triggered).
In 3 seconds flat, I'm feeling upset, defensive and angry... 👇
That's right, my ex can get me from 0 upset to 100 upset, in 3 sec.
This is a victim statement.
It says that "She" is controlling me and my feelings.
This is not the truth.
I'm in control.
I'm the one getting upset.
I'm the one who can get out of it.
It's not about her.
It's about me.
Now, what was she saying?
She didn't say that I was wrong.
She didn't blame or abused.
It was just a miss communication.
Then I got defensive because I felt my integrity was questioned.
I felt accused of something.
But it wasn't her accusing me.
I was the one going on the defence because of my own stuff.
I actually was so triggered I didn't really listened to her.
Back to 0 upset.
Whenever you're ready, here are two ways I can guide you through separation: