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Separation Survival Guide / Step 1: Identifying your emotions

During my separation I was flooded with emotions. Fear, anger, sadness, shame and guilt all came crushing in. I was so overwhelmed, I've used the only technique I knew of - numbing these f#%kers down with scotch and smokes.


Learning to identify your emotions is the first step to overcoming separations emotional rollercoaster. If you’re going through a separation right now, then your emotions are like a herd of wild horses. They are pushing and pulling. They come when they want and leave when they're done. Unchecked, unsupervised and unmanaged. In other words, your emotions are in control of you.


This stops now. Emotions come to make you aware of something. Your job is to acknowledge, understand and release the emotion. This is how you get control back.


Let's start:

Choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. Take a deep breath. Take your time to get quiet and relaxed. Scan your body in your mind. Try to feel if there's pain, tension, or discomfort in your body. What is the feeling that is attached to your physical tension or discomfort? Is it sad, angry, fearful or joyful? Maybe something else?


Match the feeling and the physical discomfort together and say: "I am feeling X (name the feeling) in my X (name the body part)". Keep going until you finish matching your feelings and any physical discomforts. Now, scan the feelings and physical discomforts again. Do the feelings have a colour or shape? If they do, name them like this: "I am feeling X (name the feeling) in my X (name the body part). The shape is X (name the shape) and the colour is X (name the colour).”


Repeat this exercise daily, and when you feel overwhelmed. It will calm you down, make you aware of your emotions and put you in a better position to manage and control them.


Remember:

It's ok to feel.

It's ok to communicate how you feel to others.

Being aware of your feelings is the first step to gaining control.


#divorcecoach#mentalhealth#personaldevelopment#mindfulness

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