Sometimes I swear my ex is the worst ...

and sometimes I swear she's my biggest teacher. Here's another thing that happened this week...

When I got my daughter to kinder on Monday morning, I realised she doesn't have a hat. My mind started a familiar pattern saying things like: "How can you neglect your child?" and "You should be more responsible" (Self-limiting beliefs coupled with expectations)

I was upset. Where's that hat? After checking with the ex, she replied: "Oh yes, I went after you with the hat, but you were gone". Well, I thought, why the hell didn't you text me to let me know? (This made me feel angry, I could feel a "charge", a sensation in my body. I know it's not a good idea to act on emotions, so I didn't do anything)

Thoughts that were going on in my head:

1. She's so irresponsible - she knew that our daughter needs a hat for kinder. (Judgment)

2. I have a right to be angry and should let her know what I think of this. (Emotion based thought)

3. She knew I was planning a picnic and doesn't care enough to make life easier for me by remembering the hat. (judgement + victim)

When I texted and asked her if she can bring said hat, she mentioned she wasn't at home, and I should buy a new one. (This made me feel angry)

After picking my daughter up, we raced to the shops. I was cursing on the way, thinking about the stress, time, and energy SHE (my ex) got me spending. (Blaming her for the situation is a victim mentality)

I needed to relax and breath...

To remember that maybe it's ok...

To trust and surrender...

My daughter and I had a wonderful time at the shops and bought her three hats. (Act of responsibility, taking control, out of victim into the creator).

We also ended up getting a takeaway burger for dinner.

A day later, we had a wonderful time at the picnic and used all three hats. The pictures I took of her with the hats were beautiful.

I acknowledge the lessons learned.

I often call my ex "My kryptonite" as she's the one person that triggers me the most. I also acknowledge that she's my biggest teacher.

What does your ex teach you about yourself?

#coaching #awareness #personaldevelopment