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It was so easy for me to step right into victim mode: "SHE did this", "SHE broke our family", "SHE made my life a living hell!"
"It’s true! I’m the good guy!"
If you’re nodding right now, consider this:
How does it feel to be a victim?
Yes, being in victim mode, is providing pity, sympathy and temporary release of anger. But it doesn’t help me move on!
Does blaming her feel powerful?
A victim is powerless.
Do I want to be powerless?
No I don't.
If I keep going, I will find myself in 20 years still blaming my ex for my shit life and my future relationships will suffer.
How? Well, guess who wants to date a man that is a victim.
That’s right, another villain!
Victims are powerless, direction less and don't take responsibility for their own lives.
So, how can I move on?
Here's how:
1. Be aware of victim thoughts. Anytime I blame my ex for the separation. The more energy I spend on my ex, the less energy I invest in myself.
2. Taking responsibility. Saying: "I take 50% responsibility for my separation". It's important I take half the responsibility. Why? Because I was there, as half of the relationship.
3. Asking myself: “What do I want?”. By changing my energy inwards and making a decision I'm in control of my future.
Are you a victim?
When you release the victim, you become the creator of your life.