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That afternoon I felt something, and it didn’t go away. Like being punched hard in my chest, with the fist still in there, not letting go, applying constant pressure. WTF???
I was working on a start-up. We were under the pump. We were making 50 cold calls per day. We were antsy, frustrated, strapped for cash. We were on the brink, but didn’t let go.
We thought we can still win. So, we kept going with our blinkers on. Like Thelma and Louise, but without being aware of the cliff.
The truth is I was scared. I didn’t like coming to the office. I didn’t like what I did anymore. I didn’t want to spend time there. But I didn’t acknowledge these feelings, understand them, or honour them.
So, after ignoring my feelings, my body sent a new message. Loud and Clear. This pain in my chest screamed: “Listen to me NOW. What you’re doing is killing you.” So, I’ve listened.
That afternoon I decided I’m out. I quit. I can’t do this anymore. After a few more hours, the fist in my chest was released.
This wasn’t just a one-off incident.
I had panic attacks when in a new work environment – I felt unsafe but didn’t realise it.
I was in denial about my separation for two years – I felt shame but kept blocking it.
I was lost. Not in touch with my own feelings, unaware and lacking in tools and techniques.
Relationships are mirrors. At home or at work, they teach me about myself.
Feelings are guides. They can show you what’s wrong.
How are you feeling about your relationships? With your partner, with your boss?
Are you talking to yourself? Are you having “air conversations” and practicing what you’d say? Are you a bit scared of talking to them?
Are you too unaware, busy, or ignorant to check in with yourself, identify your feelings and sit with them to figure out what they’re trying to tell you?
I was just like that. But no more.
Today, I’m in a different place. I’m in a place where I feel comfortable to say no. I can easily connect to my feelings, interviewing them to see what they want. Releasing them when I get the message.
I’m in tune with my body and heart. I’m open, communicative, and honest. I understand how I operate and how to forgive myself. I know how to communicate my wants and needs.
I know that I come first. I am my priority.
This week, I invite you to make yourself a priority.
Connect to your body and listen.
What feelings come up?
What are they saying?
