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Separation is an emotional challenge, and it sucks. As a man, I was taught not to cry, show emotions or be vulnerable yet these are the exact qualities I needed to face and overcome separation.
Men are not equipped with the emotional tools needed to deal with that challenge. So, we try and "fix it" with the tools we do have like business tools, problem solving tools and outcome focused actions.
This is why so many divorces are turning into a disaster. Using the wrong tools only makes a bad situation worse. It's like digging your own grave and thinking you're making progress. It's crazy.
Many men are doing just that. Going crazy. There's no system or plan for separation. It's pretty much every man for himself.
This is how I felt going through my separation. Emotions like shame, guilt and fear going through me, throwing me around like a puppet. Until I found and started practicing some emotional tools.
The first step is to allow myself to be vulnerable. To change my perception from seeing vulnerability as weakness to a strength. To feel proud and manly while sharing my pain with other men. To admit I can use some help.
After some time, vulnerability became more comfortable. It became natural, it became a masculine trait. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of being able and willing to show emotions, share my pain and cry.
I understand that crying is simply a release of emotions. It's a way to get them out, instead of caging them in. Are you comfortable with talking about your emotions?
If not, I'll be happy to chat and show you how powerful it can be to get in touch with your emotions.
PS. We might cry together and it's ok.
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