I was coughing for more than a week now. I got checked - it wasn't COVID. Add the blocked nose and the fever, I felt something is wrong. The cold and flu tablets didn't work, and I got blocked ears, lost my voice and couldn't get out of bed.
I also found it hard to breath.
Up until this point, I was downplaying my symptoms, refusing help and fighting to keep being The Rock. The Man. The Unbeatable.
Things that were going through my mind:
- I don't need help, I can do it myself.
- I am uncomfortable admitting weakness.
- I don't want to burden anyone.
Then, I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with mild pneumonia.
Now, I allowed myself to open, soften the fuck up, and share that I'm not ok. I allowed my gf to bring me a pot of chicken soup. I even asked her for other things from the supermarket. I told my ex, my neighbour, the people I'm collaborating with, my siblings.
What happened next is fascinating.
I got love. I received support. We got closer.
Today it hit me: being vulnerable is helping me to connect with others on a deeper level. If I wasn't vulnerable, this deeper connection wouldn't be happening.
As a man I was taught that being vulnerable is a weakness. The more I question that, the more I learn how being vulnerable can be an amazing gift to me, my family, and my community.
In the photo: me being vulnerable.